So I fail at updating i know. Things get in the way and i get busy but as soon as Finals are over i will give you guys the full on hard (on) details of how my last couple of months have gone.

Ill see you guys later.
Misadventures signing off

Ill see you guys later.
Misadventures signing off

• Bored
• Tired
• Horny
• Cramping
• Twitchy
• and not sleeping

Ill see you guys later.
Misadventures signing off

I swear to god I should not be driving.  Not that I drive much, I tend to stick to my scooter for the most part but still. 
I was Driving my scooter,  and on the way to Sonic.  Almost got hit by a car....twice. 
After Sonic, with my Java Chiller in hand, nine times of almost getting hit.  In less then 5 minutes

Hmmm should KP be allowed to drive? Maybe.
With Caffeine? Maybe not.

But yes, back to my awesome scooter.  Its kind of cool to be one of the few people I have seen around here with a highlighter yellow scooter.   So yeah...its not that hard to spot me.   Anyway while heading out on a mission to no where.  Which is what I do most every day.  I ended up getting lost. In lakeside park.  Yes. I am that much of a genius.  Well after about five minutes of driving around I found my way to. Dun Dun Dun. Sonic.  And as you guys should know by now. Is a pretty regular place to spot me on any given day.  At around 11 to four for about 10-15 minutes. 

Now I am sitting there, with my scooter on the tables and chairs platform.  Then I start to laugh at myself and call KC, who brilliantly told me earlier when I was lost not to speed on a scooter, and to have fun being lost, I told her I should one of these days park my scooter where the cars are supposed to be parked to be served.  But then after I thought about it...Dude. someone could not see me and pull in and crush me. Yeah, I don't think id make a pretty pancake either.

So now I sit here.  Bored to hell trying to figure out where to go now.  Because I ran out of juice in my scooter and still have half of a cup of Java Chiller to down.

Ill see you guys later.
Misadventures signing off

Let me start this journal with a fact. There is 134 steps from my driveway to the stop sign on the edge of Avenue A.  Within those 134 steps I've had a plenty of good and bad memories.  I will go into those later.  But the fact that I am stating is a lot more then just telling the distance, my height and length of my legs.  Its the simple fact that I have actually counted the steps it takes.  While I have traveled passed those steps on many occasions.  Its that at that stop sign I had an epiphany of sorts yesterday.

So did I spike your interest with that last statement?  Well if you really want to know what my epiphany was you can either skip down to the end and read it, or wait around and read a small story of how this whole thing came to be.  Ill let you decide, but I digress. 

My epiphany comes from the fact that I have lived in this town for going on three years.  From a couple of months before my 16th birthday to today, when I am 18, single, bored, and to top it off utterly uninspired, well I WAS anyway.  About Ten months ago I met a boy.  On exactly 9:37, on December 31, 2007, I saw him.  ( we have the exact date and time because I had my camera.)  He was beautiful in the way that he was nothing that I usually went after.  I spent the night talking to him, telling him some of my story, he told me some of his.  We exchanged numbers by the end of the lock in. 

Now fast foreword through months of love, hurt, crying, scares, and lies.  The guy that I had loved, had taken me from being shattered and broken, had in the end broke me.  We broke up about a month ago.  He told me yesterday, that he was happy with this girl,who was everything I am not, and to top it all off, engaged to her after only a few weeks.  I am not going to lie and say I took it in stride.  I walked into the liquor cabinet and drank for a couple of hours.  Then after a long talk with KC's boyfriend RH, and some very good advice. 

I showered, changed into some cloths I felt happy in, and took a walk.  Well that is a lie, I took my scooter for a walk.  I walked/scooter my way all around Wall Park, and finally decided I was going to Sonic.  Now along the way I called a friend of mine. KV, she talked to me about her life and let me be bluntly honest as I usually am.  After about five-ten minutes I finally decided I needed a Java Chiller - Extra chocolate with an extra shot of espresso.  Now after I got it, I slurped on it almost the whole way home. 

I got to the Stop sign,  the one that is 134 steps away from my driveway.  And my scooter died.  Now from me having a talk with RH and KV, It all began to make my head swim.  From the alcohol or from realization I don't know.
"Everything he said he said to make you feel the way that you feel right now" 
"If he broke up with you why would he jump back so quickly unless he already found her".
"I know that you are hurt. That is because you had feelings for him. He very obviously doesn't feel the same way about you. What he said in those quotes was insensitive, calculated bullshit".
"Why listen to his bullshit when you can make something out of yourself"
"I do not want to offend you but you probably made a bad choice in choosing to have feelings for him".
And finally the last few things where a conversation.
"Put the bottle down and go get some sleep and when you wake up go take a shower, put on some fresh clothes and get out of the house"
"and go WHERE"
"Go take a walk in the park and think about how you're going to put yourself in a position to get the things that you want, which not surprisingly have little to do with sex or relationships. Make a plan to accomplish what REALLY matters to you then figure out the obstacles and how to overcome them. The alcohol is just a time stealer"

All the things that he and KV said started to circulate in my head so I just sat down up against that stop sign and thought about it.  Spent a whole 15 minutes less then three minutes from my house.  Basically in the end my epiphany was that I need to figure out what truly want in life, and need to do to get there.  I need to learn to be independent, and part of something.  I need to learn to trust, and most of all, I need to learn to love myself.  Simple as that. 

Judge me if you will, but at least i told my story, and with that said...

Ill see you guys later.
Misadventures signing off